can you imagine pitching this? it's a nancy meyers movie fyi
"Tina Fey will play the founder of an e-business with a fashion focus. As her company begins to thrive, she’s told that her company is importing seniors to be interns as a community outreach effort, and she’s getting one. While her first question is whether they are seniors in high school or college, she learns to her horror that she’s getting a real senior, as in senior citizen. The title character, an over-70 widower who is bored with retirement from a middle management career, initially seems like a fossil to his working mother boss, but grows more indispensable. While the boss and internship develop a platonic bond, Meyers tells me that to her this is a love story about the friendship they develop. ”
The closest ive ever come,in recent years, to the joy of Domino’s pizza Thursdays at Warner middle school is the personal pan pizza from pizza hut at target. I think the secret is letting the pizza sit hot in an unopened box for a long time.
it’s been a year since i was stuck in a hospital for four days in Varanasi. i’m still a bit thinner than i was before india and i still often have pain where the blood clot (and IV) in the right wrist once were. but honestly, the most lasting thing from that experience, the one thing that i think about almost every single day STILL…is how incredible SUBWAY is.
i’m not even kidding. in India and especially in the hospital, where I was advised to not eat anything raw, i developed a real craving for iceberg lettuce piled high on a wheat bun. i would drift off into hour long fantasies about the air conditioned franchise with its fast, fresh food…
when i got to berlin one of the first things i ate was subway (followed by dunkin donuts) it wasn’t so good. they really skimp on the toppings in berlin. it was mostly bun.
i’d say i get subway around twice a week now. i present you with ‘The Danielle’
foot long veggie delite on wheat with provolone toasted
today i thought long and hard about declaring that i’m giving up writing. in the sense that when people ask me, have you been writing? what are you working on? i’m just going to say, oh no, i don’t do that anymore.
i was riding high on that for a few minutes and felt really inspired to write! but as soon as i caught on to that little technique i plummeted into a bag of kettle brand honey dijon potato chips.
i literally thought to myself as i stuffed handful after handful into my mouth, you have a choice right now danielle, will you walk away? will you look at the nutrition content? or will you just finish the bag? - i first walked away, then i went back to look at the nutrition facts and then i figured i’d just finish off the bag because who the hell cares and worrying about your weight is boring and those chips are just too, too good.
wedding planning is a stupidly fulfilling and distracting activity. people always ask me, is it crazy? how’s planning going? there’s so much to do right?
and the thing is, it isn’t crazy. and people get crazy in it because it’s a really dumb distraction but everyone validates it constantly by building up up up the wedding industry. but seriously, you just check little things off the list of to-dos each day and it’s only as complicated as you make it. i’m going to now post snippets of an email to my mom re: the florist/decorator’s quote:
The chuppah doesn’t have to be anything special at all. I honestly don’t care. It can have one fucking flower tied to each pole and that’s fine. We DO NOT need a $450 chuppah, that’s just silly.
the floating candles down the aisle for decor during the ceremony $350 —— i don’t think that’s necessary considering it won’t even be dark yet… i don’t think i really care about aisle decor considering we’ll also be in a garden and we have the pegasus fountain and it’s pretty and shit already
if we decided to just use the round meadow brook tables, which is something it PAINS ME TO DO but i am WILLING TO SACRIFICE MY DREAM OF A GREAT FEAST for, i’m assuming the centerpieces will be cheaper cuz there wont be as much shit.
i really want the chiavari chairs. i like the look of the dark mahogany with the white table cloths. i know that it’s a rising cost but i’d really spare some lanterns or some other silly excess to make up for it, i hate the look of a chair cover with a big dumb ribbon around it. reminds me of bar mitzvahs
how fucking stupid is that shit? no one pays attention to any of it. it’s a one day affair. am i gross or WHAT
“I try to curb these feelings by reassuring myself with a rotating assortment of pep talks, some of which can temporarily seem to work. One of them goes: “a rising tide floats all boats!” Another one goes: “put your head down and do your work. No one can be better than you are at being you. “ Above all, I try to convince myself that the idea that there are limited opportunities available to women is a big fat lie that the men who control most culture industries would love to have us believe, so we’ll keep ourselves occupied getting into Twitter wars instead of making art. There are as many spots available as we create for ourselves.”—